Sometimes, you HAVE to tell on yourself!

Sometimes, we do things that are so embarrassing...The lady who was texting and walking, and fell into the fountain? Oh, I can so relate to that! What I can't relate to, is her whining about how she was going to sue the mall because "no one came to [her] aid." Not funny--pathetic, really. I could go on all day about that one, but it's not my point.
I have to tell on myself--I did a stupid, and I will happily sacrifice my reputation on the altar of hilarity! (I totally shouldn't tell this on myself, but who cares? It's funny! I WISH I had it on video, I'd be a jillionaire!)
I woke up this morning feeling terrible--I have a wicked-bad sore throat. Throat lozenges aren't helping me.
I laid down to take a nap.
I took my glasses off--did you know I'm totally blind without my glasses?
I reached for my throat spray...
IT WASN'T THROAT SPRAY!!!
IT WAS BIOFREEZE!!!!! (That's a mentholated muscle rub in a spray bottle)
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THAT BURNS?!?!?!?!?
I jumped out of bed, ran to the bathroom, couldn't breathe, jumped around in a circle, spit in the sink, rinsed my mouth out, did an oh-my-mouth-is-on-fire dance, and kept spitting.
Guess you had to be there.
It was hilarious.
I felt stupid.
It hurt.
And I'm still laughing about it. But, it makes sense, when you see what I saw when I reached for the bottle:

Really, could you have told the difference, if that's what you saw?!?!? Please note that I didn't even know the Biofreeze was on my night stand. I have no idea how that got there--it's supposed to be in the drawer. I couldn't see, I noticed a white spray bottle, and WHAM-O!
Now I'm going on national television to cry about the bottle's similarities...I may sue my husband for not helping me...I'M A VICTIM, HERE, PEOPLE!!!!
Oh, the sad state of our society...
Since I've been fired up about the fountain lady all week, I thought I'd share my own most recent embarrassing story to even the playing field. Hang around me for more than 5 minutes, and there will probably be more, to add to my lengthy list of falling over trash cans, falling into trash cans, tripping down stairs, attempting to poison myself, and setting the kitchen on fire.
When society can no longer laugh at itself, it's time to start over.
I'm going to call Poison Control now.