Generation...

A certain sadness takes over...
Some kind of melancholy.
I dig deeper,
Try to find the branches
But maybe I should stop
Because there is disease
At the root...
My life--
I've spent it feeling
Like the odd woman out
Looking different
Thinking different
Acting different
When I look in the mirror
I see features that
Do not fit in
The family picture
(Although as I
Grow up
I am turning into
My mother)...
That nose--
Those lips
Ridiculous,
These hips
When I see the skinny legs
And little bodies
Of people who
Share the same bloodline
As me...
So I search
(for more than just a
Physical resemblance)....
Where do I come from?
The history is
Sad...
So sad...
Broken hearts litter the
Garden
Where my
"Family Tree"
took root.
Biology is
Over-rated
Yet we look to it
To feel like we
Truly belong.
Can I be free of the
Generational
Plagues
That chased down
My father?
Can I break the chains
That bound the
lives of my
Grandparents,
Coating them
with the slick deception
Of Inconvenience?
I spent a long time
Wishing I could
Fill in the
Missing Piece...
The more I learn,
The less I want to know...
The more I'd like to
Take an axe
To the family tree.
How did we make it out alive?
God bless the mother
Who wants more for her children...
Who packs the bags and
Takes the car...
Who leaves...
God bless the mother
Who throws the bastard out.
God bless the father
Who realized
That the instant-family
That came with the ring
Was never really "instant"
At all...
It brewed in love.
God bless the father
That stayed.
Out of what was intended
For destruction
Comes life,
Hope,
And a promise for tomorrow.
I am not
A product of my
Family Tree.
I am a
Product of
Adoption by
Christ.