Sometimes...

Sometimes, I read everyone else's blog instead of writing my own...
Sometimes, I let family drama detain me from dealing with my own issues...
Sometimes, I stew over other people's issues, and I dwell on the zingers I wish I could have said...
Sometimes, I act like everything is fine, but the truth is, I'm still mad.
The truth is,
I'm still hurt.
So sometimes, I can't even bring myself to the place where I can write about it.

Sometimes, I would rather hide.
Sometimes, I'm a complete narcissist, and choose to live in my Own Little World of husband-and-baby bliss.
Sometimes, I just don't care what you think, and all I want to do is focus on getting through the day.
Sometimes, I feel like my friends have abandoned me...
And the truth is,
I have abandoned them
So sometimes, I have to face the facts that I am that which I once tried so hard not to be:
A Hermit.

Sometimes, the Easter candy wins...
Sometimes, I give up on trying to be healthy, or caring about my hair, or remembering that somewhere inside me is a semi-foxy chick that won over a pretty great guy...
Sometimes, I hide my feelings of being overwhelmed in a jar of Nutella...
Sometimes, I have to say that's okay.
The truth is,
It's not. I know I'm eating my stress.
So sometimes, I have to smack myself in the face and get it together--not just for me, but for that little guy that I'd like to watch grow up...

Sometimes, I put God on a shelf.
Sometimes, my relationship with Him is not front-and-center, and when that happens, Everything Suffers.
Sometimes, I have to force myself to sit back and let someone else make the decisions.
Sometimes, I have to force myself to talk to God, because I never feel good enough to start the conversation.
The truth is,
I forget about Grace.
Sometimes...
All of the time...
He is waiting for me....He knows I will return; I know He never left....
His arms are open...
And He always has time for me...