If I hadn't flunked music theory,
This would go much faster.
I can't quote the Circle of 5ths,
But I have friends who have it
Tattooed on their
Elbows (thanks, C.J.!)...
So,
Here goes.
It's midnight, when He comes to me
Spinning words around my head
And I just can't sleep
So here I am in front of
The keys I can play
And the music is in what I can say...
Of course, as soon as I sit down,
It's a total let-down.
My mind goes totally blank
To be frank
That key marked "delete"
Just might be the death of me
Because my screensaver
Just kicked on...
I have nothing to say.
If I go back in that bedroom,
As soon as my head hits the pillow...
Words
Will
Flow...
It's super-easy for me
To get caught up in the He-
said-she-said
Why-her-not-me
Triviality that
Trips me...
Falling flat on my
Face...
Grace
Catches up with me
When I'm trying to sleep
I think He's caught on
That it's the only time of day
When I'm quiet...
Silent...
Shh...
Then He finds me,
Holds me,
Hides me,
Intertwines His hands in my brain
And starts the game
of association in my
Head.
He says,
I say,
We say,
He wins
And I begin to laugh at the
Funny things
He links together
In ways only we
Communicate.
He speaks our own language
In my twilight.
Some might think
I'm crazy
But He knows
It's true...
He is, too.
Love knocks on the door of
My brain
At insane times of the night
And I'm not
Complaining because
It's our game
And it's how
I
Fall
Asleep...
It's how
I
Stay
Alive...
He plays
Hide-and-seek
with
His children
And He always finds
Us
First...
I don't mind
that I'm awake...
At midnight.
So
Is
He.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary....
How DOES your garden grow???
Ah, the garden. What a place...this mysterious place,where something starts from a tiny little speck, and, through hard work, great fear and wondering, sweat, showers, and dirt, eventually becomes something useful...something wonderful...something we hoped for, but didn't really think we could accomplish without mom (or Paige Clausen) holding our hands...
April, 2011
May 8, 2010
It's amazing, the changes that can happen in just 8 weeks.
This little flower garden (loaded with perennials), my little vegetable pots (spinach, lettuce, cilantro, rosemary, garlic chives, tomatoes), and my hanging pots (begonias, marigolds, and impatiens) are a trial effort for me. If this goes well, David and I will attempt to put in raised garden beds in our backyard next year. I realize that this may seem trite, country-fied, and silly to some people, but to understand the feeling of pride I have in my garden, you have to understand why I put the thing in, in the first place.
I have never successfully "raised" anything (you can see where this is going). Not one plant has ever blossomed under my care. I have always said that "everything I touch dies," until that phrase began to cut off my oxygen supply. I started to think it was true, for more than just plants.
It began to suffocate me--I couldn't keep anything alive...at all. The mere mention of a garden would hurt my heart, because it seemed indicative of so much more. Last year, though, the Holy Spirit began to bring the concept of a garden to my thoughts until I could finally ignore it no more.
"A garden? Me??!? I don't have a green thumb! I can't grow anything, I mean, have you SEEN my pathetic excuse for a yard/flower garden?!?!? David had put in some daisies and some green thingy a few years ago, and the indestructible holly bushes will never die, but everything's unkempt! I mean, a CAT took up residence in the bushes! The "flower garden" is a litterbox!! I can't do that!! I don't have time for that crap!"
He was persistent...a certain Misty Edwards song kept ringing through my head, and I couldn't shake it. "Put in a garden." I heard. "Grow closer to me--find out what I'm trying to teach you. It's your parable...put in the garden."
So, last year, I took the time to clean up what we already had. I pruned the Indestructible Holly Bushes (which I'd really like to get rid of), tried to untangle the daisies, attempted to save the green thingys, and put in 2 little coral bells. Other than that, the mere fact that I added dirt and mulch made a huge cosmetic difference in the front of the house.
I was shocked at what a change it brought, cosmetically.
I was shocked at the amount of weeds that can come up in 10 square feet (what IS that?!?).
"It's You and me alone, God...." That's the line from the song.
Last year, as I tried to keep the weeds under control, and intermittently pruned the IHB, I began to see how it took regular maintenance. I wasn't very good at it...and it was reflective of my spiritual life. It was intermittent, patchy...kinda full of weeds. But it was a start.
This year, I decided to take it to the next level.
The house we live in, we'd wanted to move out of after 5 years. When we bought it, we knew the neighborhood was sketchy, but we figured we'd give it a bit, and then "move up." But the housing market bombed...so we know that barring a miracle (which I'm optimistic for!), we're here for a while. I want to make my house look pretty. I want it to look like the picture I've always had in my head. It may be small, but I want it to be welcoming. I put in some annuals this week (which I wasn't going to do, but felt encouraged to do so after talking to Hannah Preston about what I really wanted to see), and my little vegetable pots are growing quite well, for the most part (I think the rosemary is out of commission. Gonna have to try that one again). I am, at this point, successfully raising SOMETHING. It's a start, and it is so much fun, to see the results come to pass.
I'm encouraged. Things are blossoming. I don't "kill everything" I touch, and that thought can disappear. And the more I prepare my place, my home, to be a place of welcome, the more I reflect on the patience and love God has for me. He's taking me down new roads that I'm scared to go down, but I know He's with me.
It's a huge time of transition for so many people I know. Some have told me it's the planetary alignment...some say it's the Chinese Year of the Rabbit, which is good for change. Others say it's the earth preparing for 2012. I know that it's God. New roads, new changes, cause us to seek Him even closer than our stagnant paths. They make us rely on Him so much more, because they make us aware of how blind we really are.
I quit my job on April 26th.
It's the craziest thing I've done (since I got married, God reminded me). I left a job that I really liked (for the most part), a field I've worked in for 10 years, in one office or another...to take a position at a university doing a job that I have little experience in. I have a LOT of learning to do. I've never worked in a corporate setting, and frankly, I am intimidated. I have faith...and so far, I've managed to block out the "what-ifs." Ben Scofield challenged us a year ago to stop living in our comfortable Plan B, and to seek God to get us back on track to Plan A. I took those words seriously, and this is where they are leading me. I am EXCITED, scared, petrified, and totally, incredibly, freaked out.
I asked Him to direct me, to get me out of Plan B...I want my calling. I want to go where He wants me to go, not where I think I have to be. This is His answer, and it is awesome.
I am blind, and I am having to hang on for dear life to the One Who is directing me down this crazy path.
I am in this place...I am starting out as a speck, with nothing, and I am relying on Him to eventually become something useful...something wonderful...something I hoped I could be, but knew I'd never accomplish without Him holding my hands...
I am trusting that with what I have invested in my garden thus far, that it will be fruitful.
I am trusting that with what He has invested in my life thus far, that I will be fruitful in this endeavor.
"I don't want to waste my time living on the outside
I'm going to live from the inside out
I don't want to waste my life living on the outside
I'm going to live from the inside out
I'm no longer my own; I'm Your garden"--Misty Edwards
May 11, 2011
Ah, the garden. What a place...this mysterious place,where something starts from a tiny little speck, and, through hard work, great fear and wondering, sweat, showers, and dirt, eventually becomes something useful...something wonderful...something we hoped for, but didn't really think we could accomplish without mom (or Paige Clausen) holding our hands...
April, 2011
May 8, 2010
It's amazing, the changes that can happen in just 8 weeks.
This little flower garden (loaded with perennials), my little vegetable pots (spinach, lettuce, cilantro, rosemary, garlic chives, tomatoes), and my hanging pots (begonias, marigolds, and impatiens) are a trial effort for me. If this goes well, David and I will attempt to put in raised garden beds in our backyard next year. I realize that this may seem trite, country-fied, and silly to some people, but to understand the feeling of pride I have in my garden, you have to understand why I put the thing in, in the first place.
I have never successfully "raised" anything (you can see where this is going). Not one plant has ever blossomed under my care. I have always said that "everything I touch dies," until that phrase began to cut off my oxygen supply. I started to think it was true, for more than just plants.
It began to suffocate me--I couldn't keep anything alive...at all. The mere mention of a garden would hurt my heart, because it seemed indicative of so much more. Last year, though, the Holy Spirit began to bring the concept of a garden to my thoughts until I could finally ignore it no more.
"A garden? Me??!? I don't have a green thumb! I can't grow anything, I mean, have you SEEN my pathetic excuse for a yard/flower garden?!?!? David had put in some daisies and some green thingy a few years ago, and the indestructible holly bushes will never die, but everything's unkempt! I mean, a CAT took up residence in the bushes! The "flower garden" is a litterbox!! I can't do that!! I don't have time for that crap!"
He was persistent...a certain Misty Edwards song kept ringing through my head, and I couldn't shake it. "Put in a garden." I heard. "Grow closer to me--find out what I'm trying to teach you. It's your parable...put in the garden."
So, last year, I took the time to clean up what we already had. I pruned the Indestructible Holly Bushes (which I'd really like to get rid of), tried to untangle the daisies, attempted to save the green thingys, and put in 2 little coral bells. Other than that, the mere fact that I added dirt and mulch made a huge cosmetic difference in the front of the house.
I was shocked at what a change it brought, cosmetically.
I was shocked at the amount of weeds that can come up in 10 square feet (what IS that?!?).
"It's You and me alone, God...." That's the line from the song.
Last year, as I tried to keep the weeds under control, and intermittently pruned the IHB, I began to see how it took regular maintenance. I wasn't very good at it...and it was reflective of my spiritual life. It was intermittent, patchy...kinda full of weeds. But it was a start.
This year, I decided to take it to the next level.
The house we live in, we'd wanted to move out of after 5 years. When we bought it, we knew the neighborhood was sketchy, but we figured we'd give it a bit, and then "move up." But the housing market bombed...so we know that barring a miracle (which I'm optimistic for!), we're here for a while. I want to make my house look pretty. I want it to look like the picture I've always had in my head. It may be small, but I want it to be welcoming. I put in some annuals this week (which I wasn't going to do, but felt encouraged to do so after talking to Hannah Preston about what I really wanted to see), and my little vegetable pots are growing quite well, for the most part (I think the rosemary is out of commission. Gonna have to try that one again). I am, at this point, successfully raising SOMETHING. It's a start, and it is so much fun, to see the results come to pass.
I'm encouraged. Things are blossoming. I don't "kill everything" I touch, and that thought can disappear. And the more I prepare my place, my home, to be a place of welcome, the more I reflect on the patience and love God has for me. He's taking me down new roads that I'm scared to go down, but I know He's with me.
It's a huge time of transition for so many people I know. Some have told me it's the planetary alignment...some say it's the Chinese Year of the Rabbit, which is good for change. Others say it's the earth preparing for 2012. I know that it's God. New roads, new changes, cause us to seek Him even closer than our stagnant paths. They make us rely on Him so much more, because they make us aware of how blind we really are.
I quit my job on April 26th.
It's the craziest thing I've done (since I got married, God reminded me). I left a job that I really liked (for the most part), a field I've worked in for 10 years, in one office or another...to take a position at a university doing a job that I have little experience in. I have a LOT of learning to do. I've never worked in a corporate setting, and frankly, I am intimidated. I have faith...and so far, I've managed to block out the "what-ifs." Ben Scofield challenged us a year ago to stop living in our comfortable Plan B, and to seek God to get us back on track to Plan A. I took those words seriously, and this is where they are leading me. I am EXCITED, scared, petrified, and totally, incredibly, freaked out.
I asked Him to direct me, to get me out of Plan B...I want my calling. I want to go where He wants me to go, not where I think I have to be. This is His answer, and it is awesome.
I am blind, and I am having to hang on for dear life to the One Who is directing me down this crazy path.
I am in this place...I am starting out as a speck, with nothing, and I am relying on Him to eventually become something useful...something wonderful...something I hoped I could be, but knew I'd never accomplish without Him holding my hands...
I am trusting that with what I have invested in my garden thus far, that it will be fruitful.
I am trusting that with what He has invested in my life thus far, that I will be fruitful in this endeavor.
"I don't want to waste my time living on the outside
I'm going to live from the inside out
I don't want to waste my life living on the outside
I'm going to live from the inside out
I'm no longer my own; I'm Your garden"--Misty Edwards
May 11, 2011
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