Intimate vulnerability...

I can't believe it's been two months since I last sat down and wrote a blog. That's ridiculous. Even I know that if I don't blab incoherently for a while in cyberspace, pent up emotions will get to me. So, here I am..."I'll bring the wine; You bring your scarred psyche." (Sad, when I start quoting Batman Forever. Worst Batman of all, truth!) Anyways, here I am.
I don't really have anything to say. I'm in a weird place of taking things day-by-day, which is where, I suspect, God wants me. I've had a few trials over the last few months, but nothing that He couldn't handle. I've put up with some garbage, had some flung at me, and at the end of the day, He washed me off. He's good at that. He even lets me start over...I love how He rescues me.
The one consistent thing that I keep getting in my spiritual life is vulnerability. I hear this refrain: "Open the windows; tear down the walls. Open the doors for Your people of praise. Open the windows. Tear down the walls; open the floodgates for Your people of praise; we're Your people of praise." I hear Him saying that worship is the place to take off the armor...worship is the place where we lay down all of our fears and burdens, and we crawl into His arms to rest. It's the place where He, as the Lover of our souls, welcomes us in to the secret places.
We are so guarded, as people. We're so afraid of our own faults and scars, but He's not.
At this point, I take the next paragraph that I wrote, and I scrap it. I scrap it because I want to write about intimacy with God...but there's a rawness there that I'm not wanting to put online. I have so much to learn...and some things I have to ponder in my heart.
I am in a season where I simply want to hide under His wings. I'll eventually have to come back out again, but for now, this is where I stay. I am not calling it "hibernation;" that would be too seasonally-appropriate. I just have the sense that He's got a lot to say...so I'm listening.