Wandering...

Days like this I feel like I'm
Wandering
All
Over
The
Page...
I can't keep up with Myself
Yet I'm
Accomplishing
Nothing.
The media onslaught reminds me
 Of what's coming...
The Monster At The End of
This Week...
I don't need
Reminders
Of what I've lost
 And of what hasn't
Happened
Yet.
I don't need
Reminders
Of who I was
Or what I'm Not.

Things to do...
Ways to stay busy...
Places where I can
Run away
But is it safe to cry?
Or will it
Be a burden to someone else?
I don't know.

I'm sick of myself,
Sick of feeling this way...
Sick of wondering what
People think...
Sick of feeling
Misunderstood
And Sick of "just pushing through."
Sick of wandering...
Sick of wondering...

You don't understand;
You couldn't.
Similar situations are not
My situation.
God understands,
But since He put me in this
"Situation"
 To begin with,
 I don't really want to talk to Him.

Every now and then,
Can I stomp my feet?
Can I shake my fist?
 Can I stay under the blankets
And swear at the complete lack of
Resolution?

Angry...
Sad...
Confused...
Marginally hopeful...
Not getting any younger...
Surrendered?
Or Resigned?
Frustrated...
...Wandering.