"Mawwaige...That Bwessed Awwangement..."

Marriage. It's a topic that's a hot button today, with "equality" being the focus of many celebrities and media personalities.
The concept of marriage equality aggravates the crap out of me.
Now, this blog is no doubt going to ruffle some feathers...it will most likely upset a few friends, and really, I'm okay with that. I've noticed that if you tend to point out that the Emperor isn't wearing any clothes, you're met with complaints that you must be full of hatred.
Nope.
Not me.
I don't hate anyone.
I just don't see what the big freaking deal is.
Marriage is designed, in the Biblical sense, to be a covenant between two individuals and the Lord. It's a binding, eternal ceremony that joins you to another human being in the eyes of the Most Sacred Himself--you are binding to one another in the Name of Love, by the One Who Created Love, and by the One Who is Love, Himself.
It's a pretty serious thing.
Now, if you don't view marriage as a holy sacrament; if you only view it as a legally binding agreement, and you want the chance to be legally bound to another human being and thus, share their insurance and monetary benefits, than that's totally fine with me. Be on your way, piece of paper in hand. You're married--Poof! We're equal!
SO, there you have it--in the strictly legal sense, I honestly don't care about gay marriage, or heterosexual marriage, or marriage to your cat. Enjoy. Be married.
If you do not have the Word of God, and it's Writer, as the cornerstone of your marriage, then go to your courthouse, backyard, convention center, whatever; sign your piece of paper, and be done with your complaint.
BUT...
If you understand what marriage is mean to be...
If you have even a glimpse into what God designed for us to have...
Than you'll see what's so incredibly sad about the previous paragraph...
I heard a commercial yesterday on the Dave Glover show that actually hurt my heart. It was Dave, doing what he does: Shilling an advertisement for someone who supports his show. Don't get me wrong--I love Glover. But sometimes, I think some advertisement money should be sent back.
Dave was discussing divorce, and how "everybody gets divorced, like, more than 50% of us" (true). He talked about what a pain it was (almost as though it were a huge inconvenience), and he celebrated this law firm that can "get you divorced in 60 days or less." He described the company as helping you to make a "fresh start," like you could just wipe it all away...
Like marriage is erasable...
Maybe today, with all of this "everybody should get married" stuff, it is.
Get your piece of paper at your courthouse...sign your life away to another person you "love"...play house for a while (at least, make a go of it)....get tired of each other....and wipe it all away, for a "fresh start."  It's like marriage is the new debt, and divorce is filing bankruptcy.
In our society of convenience, we have taken a Holy Sacrament, and likened it to a dry erase board...

Let me tell you what a true, honest, Godly marriage is like (at least, this is what I've been told; we still have a lot of growing up to do):  You are bound to each other; you are not enslaved, but you are bonded. You are grafted together, and rooted in the Word. Your feet are planted in the same block of concrete; one goes where the other goes, even when it's through fire.
Marriages of convenience DO NOT SURVIVE THE STORMS.
I belong to my husband; he belongs to me, and we both belonged to the Lord before we ever saw each other's face. If he told me today that he wanted to leave, there would be no such thing as a "fresh start." I would be absolutely, 100% scarred for life. You can't sew two people together through fire and flood, and then rip them apart and act like their headed for some new, beautiful, clean, fresh beginning. You rip two people apart, and you're left with material that's full of thread and holes--there's an impact there that is felt for DECADES.

My husband has fallen apart with me, and fallen into me. He has watched me lose everything but my faith; he is the reason I didn't lose that. We have loved each other through unemployment, pregnancy, death, life, jobs we hate, jobs we love, the hell of finding the right antidepressant/hormone balance, leaving and finding churches, screaming babies, checking account bounce fees, identity theft, near-death experiences, airplanes, cruise ships, and corporate Christmas parties. We have held death and life in our arms, and we have held each others' hands when we've crossed the street. It's been 9 years, and in it, we've crammed more than most people will see in a lifetime. I will say this in bold print and shout it in all caps:WE ARE NOT LIVING A MARRIAGE OF CONVENIENCE.

There are things that I think "holy" couples do, that we do not do (and I wish we did). Like I said--we have a lot to learn. But there is not a single cell in me that thinks the life we've had could have even gone this far, without the love, grace, joy, peace, and comfort that comes from Jesus. He is our foundation, and He is how we've survived. He's why we still actually like each other.

Do I think most couples could go through what we've been through, and make it? Is it too arrogant to say "no," when I have the stats to back it up? 80% of all couples who have lost a child wind up divorcing, regardless of their faith. That's a horrible statistic. I get it--but it's still horrible. It's so incredibly difficult...but I believe it can be done (as I write this, I'm riveted with the fear that David is going to come up those stairs and pack a bag. I'd have to hurt him.),  It takes a strength that I do not have...a strength that comes from an incredibly supportive church, family, and friends. We've been blessed with that.


I do not believe in having a marriage of convenience. I really don't. I believe in making that covenant with another person, in the eyes of God, and in growing together in Him. I believe that He binds us together, and that it's eternal...there could never be a "fresh start" without David. He's part of the fibers of my heart, and I couldn't imagine my life without him. He is my husband; I am my beloved's, and he is mine.

I'm sure that this attorney is proud of the fact that in less than 60 days, he can, on paper, make it look like a crappy marriage never happened. And I'm sure that, on paper, a lot of marriages look like they're forever.

Paper is paper. It's meant to be shredded, burned, filed, and recycled. The piece of paper that binds or tears two people apart seems to be, in today's world, absolutely pointless. Let's give everyone one. Let's celebrate the fact that we can all get this stupid piece of paper...let's celebrate the fact that everyone can tear it apart, and pretend like it never happened, with a "fresh start."
Yay, equality.
Yay, everyone can get married.
Yay, everyone can get divorced and act like the whole marriage "thing" never happened.

Until we, as a society, have re-gained an appreciation for the sacred commitment that marriage is supposed to be, then it is no longer a prize worth fighting for...and that makes me sad, because I believe a godly marriage is EVERYTHING worth fighting for...