"Validation"

Outside looking in...
Once more,
I find it's the little things
That I look to
To validate my
Existence...
The drama queen in me;
Always playing a role...
Always seeking some kind
Of
Nomination
And always having my
Heart Broken
When it doesn't happen...
When someone else
Takes the front seat...
Why am I
Seeking approval from an
"Audience"
That doesn't know that
I exist?
I set myself up
For such scars...
When I do what I do
For You
There is only
Love.
Why do I set my heart on
Anything else?
Crushed,
Battered,
Disappointed...
Angry,
Wounded...
And really,
I'm the one to blame.
To live in such a way
That one only seeks...
That one
Desperately seeks...
Approval from Your heart
Is a life that seems to
Scream
Of delayed satisfaction
In a world that seeks
Instant recognition,
And in spite of my
Best intentions,
I am no different
From the
Orphan theology
I am surrounded by.
I do what I don't want to...
Put hope in what I
Should not hope for,
And with hold True
Trust
To hold on to my
Control.
It leads to this...
So once again,
I lay this down--
Not "lay aside"--
I lay it down.
I step off of the stage.
I close my eyes to
Seeking approval
Even from the ones I love,
And I try again...
Dusty knees...
Bruised knees...
Skinned knees...
Tear-stained pillow
And damaged heart...
I try again,
And even though
I'm ugly,
You tell me
I'm beautiful...
When no one else says
The words I need to hear,
You speak them from the depths of my soul...
It can be hard to
Quiet
A broken heart,
But You
Speak
Through
The
Pieces...