Secrets of "perfect" parenting...

David is forever telling me that I write too much. Part of me thinks that's just because, as the guy that lives with me 24/7, and that is required by vow to listen to me, that he's immune to my journalistic charms. Part of me knows that actually, I've been told my entire life that I talk too much, and it's just part of who I am. After all--I don't think a day went by, that my name wasn't written on a chalkboard with checkmarks, for speaking out of turn. I'm not sure I actually had a complete recess in my entire elementary school history.
So it goes without saying, that feeling limited in what I can/cannot post is against my nature. We live in a crazy world, though, where people steal babies and rob houses...we live in a world where pizza delivery folks have to invest in Kevlar, and where we no sooner get in our vehicles than we lock our doors.
I didn't grow up this way.
I grew up in a small town, with a single mother (until I was 8), where I regularly walked to and from school, and where we didn't necessarily even lock our front door at night. I grew up playing in a backyard with a big hill, hanging my laundry outside (to my chagrin), and feeling like everything I knew was safe. Of course, that wasn't the case; it wasn't until I was much older that I learned about the monsters that lurked out of sight. But to me, as a small child, things were idyllic.
All I had to worry about was avoiding spankings, and cleaning my room.
What about this world?
Every day, I hear about another robbery; every day there's another killing. The laws of thermodynamics are in practice: Everything goes from order to disorder. How far will it go?
Raising a child in this world is fraught with challenges. How much do you insulate them? Do you even try? Do you see the kids in your neighborhood, and determine that your kid isn't hanging out with "them?" Do you protect them by homeschooling them (and understand that you may limit their academic success by your own failings)? Do you put them in Christian schools (and understand that you may limit their collegiate opportunities for lack of information)? Do you take the ultimate risk, and put them in public schools (which seem to have more exposure/danger/threat than the Wild, Wild West)? 
How are we supposed to raise a well-rounded kid that will thrive in this planet of insanity? How do we keep them innocent? How do we not become "helicopter" parents, yet find the balance to keep them from becoming narcissistic fools?
I look at every set of parents that's around me as one more piece to the puzzle...but then there are those that completely confuse me--I don't understand--I have always thought that the kids with the good parents could never be screwed up. WHAT a misnomer!!!!  Observation has taught me that these children that we bring into this crazy world will make their own way; they will make their own decisions. We can cover them in prayer, we can do everything "right," but when it comes down to it, they stand before God alone. I don't get to stand in front of Him with my mommy. She's a far better person than me, so it would do me great favors; nope--I stand in front of Him on my own. I am responsible for my own decisions.
So is my son.
If I do everything right...if I combine those that I perceive as perfect, the Angela Sipes and the Sherry LoRussos; the Mary Helbigs and the Sheila Wards...if I study and emulate, and spend hours and hours in prayer...if I never let my kids out of my sight, and relocate our household to the finest neighborhoods in the Rockwood School District...if I use "time-outs" instead of spankings; if I never criticize, yell, or use harsh words...if I only speak encouragement...if I provide tutors and horseback riding and Abercrombie & Fitch labels...if I end my career and become a full-time mom who always has a kleenex on hand and a clean apron...if I learn to be a better cook, or how to knit, or the best way to reproduce every home-living tip that I see on Pinterest and create the most beautiful Martha-Stewart household EVER....
I am guaranteed nothing.
But...
If I come before my Father with nothing...with brokenness and fear, with trembling, and with open hands...
I am guaranteed that He will fill them.
I am guaranteed that He will give wisdom.
I am guaranteed that He will surround me, not with the "perfects," but with women who understand that He sustains them on a daily, hourly, minute-by-minute basis through motherhood. You see--He knows that the "perfects" are anything but.
The Angelas, the Marys, the Sherrys, and the Sheilas, know better than anyone, just how empty a mother really is. They know the sacrifice, the dedication, and the true heart of parenthood. They know that it's only when you've really given up any belief in your own abilities, that you find His strength...and that's what you use to raise a child.
His strength.
Not mine.
There is nothing I can do to guarantee that my son will turn out to be a world-changer. There is nothing I can do to "make" him be what I "want" him to be, or what I think he can be. The only thing I can do is to trust that God is faithful, and that He honors His word to never leave us.
I'm surrounded by many examples of amazing mothers, and I'm not going to lie--most of them intimidate me like you wouldn't believe. David and I have no idea what we're doing, or what we're in for.What we do know, though, is that we're going to be the absolute best parents that we can figure out how to be. We're going to try to raise JD right...to raise him in a family that loves him, in a church that loves him, and in a community of worship that continues to keep Jesus in the center. Regardless of the outcome, if we can say at the end of it all that we stuck to that philosophy, then I believe we can rest our heads at night knowing that we are good parents.
When my son gives his life to the Lord, regardless of the age, I will know in my heart that I have succeeded as a mother....
Even if I never learn to knit...to wear an apron...
Even if there's mud on the kitchen floor...or if I never learn to properly make fried chicken.
Even if he does wind up in public school ( I don't see that happening) or decides not to go to college (I also don't see that happening).
Something tells me that he has a special place in this crazy world...I believe he has a tremendous purpose (of course I do! I'm his mommy!), that is beyond my maternal instinct. He is born for such a time as this, and I am excited to be a part of his destiny.
Welcome to the world, JD...
Your daddy and I will do our very best. We'll fail some, and succeed some...we will not give up, and we will not stop praying over your life.
We will never stop loving you.
And neither will Jesus...