Day 9: What You Hope Your Future Will Be Like...

I'm a huge fan of the X-Men. I've liked them since I was a kid; I'd watch the cartoon, and I was fascinated with Rogue. Now the cartoons are on Netflix, and I will admit to binge-watching them on occasion. I wasn't overly thrilled with the movie's portrayal of Rogue, but whatever. They'll eventually get it right! I totally loved the X-Men: The First Class movie.
A bunch of kids...total freaks and outcasts...so uncomfortable in their own skin...Young people, who already have so much to deal with, have the added "benefit" of powers and bodies that seem out of their control...And two "saviors" who come in, give them direction and hope, and eventually give them a purpose and a sense of worth. 
The kids have no idea what's coming...They have no idea what's next, or what they can do...They don't understand their role, but WE do, because we've seen the other X-Men movies. They don't understand that they're not outcasts, but we do, because we know about Dr. Xavier's awesome school (that we all secretly wish we could go to). We understand, because we know what their future holds.
I have no idea what my future holds. 
This blog challenge has already asked about where I hope to be in 10 years, and frankly, that's about as far out as I can let myself think. Life is precious--why do I want to waste time with would've/could've/should've/might happen? The Bible says not to freak out about the future; I have enough of a challenge, not freaking out about TONIGHT. My goals are simple: Stay married. Stay in love. Stay communicative with that guy I married. Be a mom, but only after being a wife (which is hard, because in my head, I want to be a mom, first...but that's actually bad parenting--unless you're a single parent--I can't be a good mom, unless I can put being a wife, first, because it takes the both of us together to raise our son. Neither of us can do it alone; learning that new dependence on each other is pushing us into a new phase of our marriage which is not easy. As most new parents do, we are struggling to communicate with each other, and struggling to run our household, jobs, etc.; we are SO dependent on God!) But seriously--I hope my future reflects just a little bit of that "white picket fence" family that I always envied as a child..just a little bit...because those Brady-types are WAY too boring and polite for me! :)
Besides having a complete family in the future (well, as complete as it's going to be...someone will always be missing...) I'd really, truly like to be debt-free. Financial issues are the biggest thing that we fight about in our marriage, and we've honestly struggled quite a bit. I'd really, really like to be in a place where if we're called to the mission field, that we can simply go. That requires a simpler kind of living than we've had. There are a lot of practices that have to be given up, and we're in the beginning processes of working through those. It's time to strip down, cut back, and pare away...I think there's a freedom there, that we are on our way to discovering...
I want to write...I want to sing...I want to publish...I have a huge list of "wants," but I don't know if they're what my future looks like. I think that, just like when I was a kid, my dreams of being a wife and a mother are what I want my future to continue to be. "Just" that. There's such a satisfaction there...I don't NEED anything else in my future. If I'm never published, that's fine...if I never record that demo that's always been in the back of my mind, it's okay. If my Great American Novel never comes out of this keyboard, it's okay. 
I need to embrace that level of contentment on a minute-by-minute basis....I hope, in my future, that I've learned to apply that to everything from food to shopping.

Philippians 4:11-13 ESV 

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

I don't know what the future holds. I'm not an X-man. I don't have any cool powers, and no one has made a movie about my life or my contribution to society. However, God took care of a lot of it when He wrote the Bible, because that love letter from Him tells me that regardless of what's in my future, it's going to be just fine. As the saying goes, "I know not what the future holds, but I know Who holds my future." It's true. He holds me. So, my future looks beautiful...

Day 7: What does your horoscope say about you?

Disclaimer: I do not believe in horoscopes, and believe that the Bible counsels us as Christians to avoid them, to avoid believing in them, and to avoid seeking their counsel. I haven't looked at one in years, and I had to Google this to even answer the question. I think this is crap. And there you go.

So, here's what Google says about me:
1. I'm a "Scorpio on the cusp of a Sagittarius,"
2. I don't know what that means.
3. I'm apparently "ruled by Pluto and Jupiter, and seconded by Mars." Based on my limited knowledge of Roman and Greek Gods, Mars is a god of war; Jupiter is a huge planet; and Pluto's not even a planet anymore.....therefore, I REALLY don't know what this means.
4.  This came up: The most important lesson to be learned by Scorpio/Sagittarius natives is to be aware of the fact that their passionate nature can easily lead them into self-indulgance and/or compulsion. Since I'm a compulsive eater/shopper, they may have me on this one...
5. They also have me on this one...but someone's gonna have to push me out of the plane if I actually get the chance to go skydiving..." They are apt to prefer solitary or one-on-one sports that will stretch them to the limit…skydiving or big game fishing, for example. They are also likely to be rather lucky souls and probably enjoy gambling, while the philosophical aspect of their character denotes a fondness for drama and debate." I do like to gamble...or at least, I did on the only time I was exposed to it...which is why there will not be a second time, LOL...and I do not play well with others, for the record...

If you want to read anything else about what the skies evidently say about me, you go right ahead. Here's the link: http://excitingredbonelightning.com/post/1435692643/scorpio-sagittarius-cusphttp://excitingredbonelightning.com/post/1435692643/scorpio-sagittarius-cusp
I'm not reading anymore, because I think this stuff is dangerous, especially for me.

I trust Jesus. He made the skies....and truthfully, I believe the atmospheres and heavens shifted during the Flood, so our current solar system view is a little off. See Bill Banks' book about the Judaic constellations for more information--it's WAY more accurate. :)
And there you go!  (Sorry--just not into the whole horoscope thing. Really makes me uncomfortable).

Day 2: Where I'd like to be in 10 years...

Funny you should ask.
6 months ago, I would have said that I hoped I still worked for the same company, or that I hoped I had my graduate degree...that I hoped I was teaching at a good school, and that I hoped I was out of debt.
Things have changed.
My goals have changed.
In 10 years, I would like to be alive. Healthier. Skinnier. More disciplined.
In 10 years, I would like to be debt-free.
In 10 years, I would like to say that the two things I struggle with the most (money and food) are hard-won battles that I am finished with...
In 10 years, I would like to know Jesus closer, better, more intimately, and more decisively.
I would like to say, in 10 years, that I have learned from my mistakes,
That I have learned to be a better parent,
And that my son never felt like I passed him by for my own devices.

I would like for my son to understand at least a small percentage of how much he is loved...

I would like for my husband to still want to hold my hand when we cross the street...to still be by my side...but not to snore any louder. :)

I would like to have a bigger garden, and to have continued my streak of avoiding speeding tickets.

I don't know if I'll make it back to school; I'm torn on the subject right now, even as I'm looking at a calender that has an academic adviser's meeting scheduled for next month. I don't know if I can physically handle the demands of the job, the home, the parenthood, the...etc.... I'm afraid. I'm walking on ice, and I feel like I could break through any second now....or fall under.

10 years from now, I hope I look back on this little blog, and I say, "Look at that--I did it. And it was just fine."

I don't know what my future holds, and I can't sit here and worry about it. My 6 month-old is teething, and we are at our wits' end as to how to bring him peace. All I know about my next 10 years is this:

No matter what happens...no matter what I do or do not do...no matter if I get that graduate degree, find a better-paying job, or stop working altogether...no matter if I ever get to sing background vocals for Jewel (!) or write my Great American Novel...No matter what happens,

Jesus loves me.

And that's really all I care about.